A change in my life .

One thing that i would change in my life , is how I ended a very important relationship with a very special person .this person was me best friend and role model . We were together so much that he became like family to me . We ended our relationship because of stress , another girl , and mostly because I kept letting him down . Although it hurt very bad , I am happy to see him smile much more now then , when we were together ; although I am not the one making him smile . Many people say , that a teenager can not possibly understand what love is . I believe that is quite hypocritical . If adults knew more than us , then we would learn from them and arguments , disagreements , separation ;  all the negative parts of a relationship would be nonexistent . No one really knows what love is , or more simply , no one can really explain the feelings , thoughts of this particular concept . My point is , is that this was the closest thing that I have ever felt to love and maybe it even was . I think that is probably why it was a traumatic experience , as silly as it may seem . The thing I really regretted was how it ended and letting that person down . Truthfully speaking , it probably really was all my fault . Regardless of what any of my friends say . That is what I believe in deep down . If I had chosen differently , my entire life would have been different . I might have still been with him and still had been some what of friends with the girl who is now in my place . The friends I have now , probably would not even be my friends f I had not messed up so much . Although I do feel very guilty and self conscious about this experience , I really think I can reflect on it . So then the next person I will meet , and eventually love , I will treat them with the respect that they deserve . That is why I regret this ; because I could have been different , I had sworn I would be different but I did not . I broke my promise to him and myself . This would be the one thing that I would change in my life .