letter to myself in the future

To me in the past,

I wish I could convey to you how I feel at the moment. Seeing everyone graduate off and move on to their path's. I cannot tell you exactly how I feel at the moment. For now all I can say however is to enjoy yourself. It will not last forever and you are going to get rushed in to becoming an adult but I know you well enough to know your capabilities at the times you will be in. I can only tell you two things to do which are to trust the people around you at the moment and to be who you are.

If I were to go back to the time you are in, I would wish I could have treated all of the important people in our life the way they deserved. I am telling you this for a reason. I cringe at the thought of seeing the same mistakes made over again so I will put my faith into the old but improved version of me. I know I can put my faith into you. After all, we were the one to say the only person you can trust is yourself. However Michelle, that is not true. The amazing people around you will be more than the surficial amount needed to make it through the more difficult times in our life. I believe in you Michelle.

I know how difficult it was for you to be who you wanted to always be. I know how you could not believe the truth when handed to you because it was easier to believe in the lies but I want you to look past that and gaze in to the future, my present. It became such an easier thing to put your aspirations into. Finally I am able to be who I truly wanted to be and who I truly was but not after enduring many hardships and losing and sacrificing many things along the way. I want to tell you this so you can make the changes that are necessary and you can be happier sooner. I must go now, but I believe in you and our future.

Sincerely,
              Michelle

Forgiving

How can you forgive

When it is easier to forget

How can you confront

When you are trying to forgive

How can you move on

When you can not forgive or forget

Is it easier to forgive?

Is it easier to forget?

I think it is easier to wonder

How life would be with both.

Did they mean do to that?

Were the apologies sincere?

Were the tears from their eyes,

Just another drop in the ocean?

How can you forgive 

When it is easier to forget

How can you confront

When you are trying to forgive

How can you move on

When you can not forgive or forget

I would rather say,

That I want to do neither forgive or forget

And regret that the predicament ever happened.

Love & Companionship

Love and companionship, is in my opinion, a crucial development stage in the human race. Now I saw "human race" because as our lives here on our Earth, we all serve an interesting role as we either succeed or fail against billions of other humans. Love and companionship serve as a major part of our lives as we encounter trust, heart break, sexual experiences and most of all, learning to put all of their beliefs and faith unto a single entity. Another reason why love and companionship is a crucial role, is because of support. In all of our minds, young or old, regardless of color, race or religion; getting praised for something a person has done right is a blissful feeling. The feeling of the support and companionship is yet another amazing thing as we go along with our human race. Lastly, I would like to state the last and most important reason which is the feeling of creating a life form (that I hope) was based solely on two persons and affection for each other. In conclusion, I would like to the this in with the story "Frankenstein" because the creature Victor, had sculpted wanted a female in which he could entrust and show love and affection to. Mostly I believe Victor's creature wanted a sole companion that would accompany him, days on end through thick and thin, through content and anger and through sorrow and despair. Those are the reasons why I believe love and companionship is important and crucial to the development of both the physical and psychological parts of a human being.

Rejection.

Summary:
All in all, I think rejection is painful. This video does not really reflect on that, but it is still what I believe that many people make it out to look like. Society today, makes fun of things that are really serious. This video was basically a parody of that. This compares to Frankenstein because the Creature tried to talk to Victor. Victor really did not give him a good chance though without ( in my opinion ) making the creature feel bad. In this video, Ricky is supposed to be the creature and I am supposed to reflect Victor but a more modernized version of course. At some point in the video, Ricky is against a brick wall looking upset. The point of this was to reflect how the Creature must have felt when he was rejected by Victor, his creator.

The people who did this video with me/are in my group:
Ricky P. (7th period)
Bethany D. (7th period)
Morgan L. (8th period)

This video did not upload on some of their accounts.

Wanting to find the unknown.

I think the main reason that people want to discover the unknown is to be somebody. As society is in the united states today, it is very difficult to do so with countless numbers of expectations, assumptions and standards; a person starts to lose themselves in their work, devotion and career. I am not saying it is wrong to do, however, the devotion and passion used to make it to that certain aspiration becomes a mere fascination and rather a dream because of all they have lost for that particular aspiration or goal. To reach this goal of finding the unknown, devotion and passion obviously must be present. But i believe the real question is, how much devotion and time will this dream need to acquire to become a reality? The unknown is just that. The unknown. And in my opinion, the unknown is just an idea that is desired that has been created through the fascinating imagination of the most remarkable species of this world. Humans. With so many of us here, present, in this day and all of our overwhelming talents, hobbies and abilities, the desire of finding something, anything, that appears to be "unknown" becomes a competition. To rise higher on the totem pole that most of us refer to as "life" has become one of the highest desires that appeal to us. The reasoning for this desire is a passion that i believe we all share as people, as humans and as an individual. It is only a select few of us however, that has the patience, understanding and capabilities of this aspiration. But remember, a desire or an aspiration without a method of completion is just a dream that will never become a reality and will only ever remain just as that. A dream.

Truth v. Lies

I think that a person should rather choose to say the truth than to say a lie. There is something called a "white lie" where it is a lie used to hide someone from the truth. What people do not understand is that the most simplest of lies can become so complex and such a heavy burden that it eats the person from the inside out. Similarly like the weight of the skies on  their shoulders. In some cases, people begin to lie to themselves as motivation to do something. Like hysterical pregnancies and being anorexic. These lies could include the most simplest lie: "your sweater looks nice" to maybe a more complicated and complex one: "she said she likes you too". Saying the truth is not always the right thing to do however it is much better than having to continuously lie to your loved ones. I understand the concept of trying to hide the truth or protecting someone from something that could potentially hurt them but when they do find out the truth, the person who told them the lie to begin with will be the bad guy, the liar, the boy who called wolf. In my beliefs, the best thing to do is to say the truth to begin with because no one can ever know when their lie becomes exposed. However, there are pros and cons with each choice. if choosing a lie, then maybe that person is saved from humiliation or pain. but in the end, the person who lied would become a dishonest person. if choosing to say the truth, he person may be hurt and choose not to talk to the honest person but at the very least, the lies would not consume them entirely of guilt. In conclusion, people should just say the truth. It's better to hurt them for maybe an hour or so then to be consumed of guilt and lose a loved one.

Success comes before work only in a dictionary

"success comes before work only in a dictionary". my high school experience so far had been quite the in-stereotypical encounter. Most things i believed would have happened, had never even come across. It has been very entertaining and whimsical. I have matured quite a lot as well. I have encountered new struggles, accomplishments, and aspirations. Each growing more chaotic by the school day. Every day is a new journey and a new exhausting adventure. But in the end, i can say "Wow! Today has been such a great day!!"

During my high school experience, some struggles i have encountered are my grades and keeping up with the daily updates. The hardest thing to do has been to keep my grades increasing and at a very high GPA. I'd definitely like my GPA to be one of those higher ones at a 3.5 or preferably higher. It is quite the difficult thing to do considering the course work and the extra things i dream of and have been doing such as tutoring little children, baby sitting for working parents and composing my music.   I am not complaining, i love everything i do. Especially the children. However, doing all these things has made me very appreciative and grateful for all that i have. One major thing i have learned throughout high school, is that our lives are a once in a lifetime opportunity so we must do everything we do the fullest and with the same compassion , love and effort as something we love.

Another delightful experience that i have encountered  is keeping up with the gossip and social things. It seems like a silly thing and a colossal waste of time however we are judged not on our insider but our appearance and the impression we make ourselves out to be. When we are talking to our friends, 93% is gossip, 5% is complaining about classwork and school and last but mot least, 2% is on what we would like to do one the weekend (please keep in mind that these are not real statistics but are based on my own experience). Another thing, is since our school is quite the small thing, nothing is a secret sadly. Everything will be out for everyone to know about. Lastly, i would like to get into my life goals.

My life goal is to become a hematologist and an oncologist. Keep in mind that this is no easy task. Theoretically speaking however, not task or journey is an easy one. Everything is just one big adventure. Getting into my aspirations, i want to do this job because i want to help people and see the look on their faces as i do something to make them grateful and happy. Truthfully speaking, i love helping people and i am a humanitarian. Although my biggest hobby is to pull pranks and jokes on people because i find it absolutely hilarious, i do want to help people and find a cure for cancer. I have an idea set. It may be wrong however, it is a start. This seems a bit selfish if i do say so myself but i would really like to be remembered on this earth as someone more than a friend, family member or Asian. And lastly, i want to help someone so they will not have the same regrets as my late grandmother due to cancer.

As seen, i have quite a load of experiences, struggles, and goals. It is very hectic but high school, i swear, was made out to be like this. With all these amazing memories and ideas and aspirations to be made, my hi school experience has been that once-in-a-lifetime experience that i have wished for.

Bullying.

I believe that cyber bullying is much worse than bullying that takes place at school or home. The reason for this is because a lot of people who get bullied from a website like facebook or myspace, can not really say no to the demands of the bully. They can only accept it because the bully knows where and who their friends and family are. They could use everything that the victim said or done against them causing even their own classmates to turn around and bully them as well. So when this happens, there is really no escape or safe place/time. They get bullied at school for misunderstandments and they get bullied whenever they are on the internet. They will not even be able to feel safe in their own room - their own home. If I witnessed someone getting bullied, I think I would try to help them indirectly. Meaning, I am not going to go right up to them and say "oh, i'm going to call the cops on the guy who's harassing you". I need to catch him in the act so I will contact the police when he is in the act. I believe people should stand up for themselves so I will not stand up. I am not saying that I will stand by and do nothing. If they are in so much of a troubles place, I will with out a doubt, stand up for them. People can speak, communicate, and possibly do anything in this world. So why is standing up for themselves not one of them?

Stealing

My intake on stealing is that it is a terrible thing to do, regardless of your circumstance. Although i did feel sympathy for the woman who was desperately trying to save her home from being demolished, it still is not fair to the person who the land belongs to. In my opinion, i strongly believe that they should put the people who's homes were demolished, into homeless centers and after they have enough money, to leave the homeless center and live in a home that WAS NOT built on illegally sold land. This really is a sad situation, however, regardless of whether it is a penny on the ground, to maybe Bill Gates home, the damage done and the sin you committed is just about equal. My point is, is that it is most unfair tothe person  who is losing money or something. It is sad for the people who were in situations such as the woman in Africa, but the owner of the illegally sold land, has probably lost the most money and it completely and utterly un-humane that a person would steal and sell something that never belonged to them. Especially of it is illegal. Regardless of the situation, the person who is getting something stolen from them is the victim in this case so they should be able to put the situation into their own hands and deal with it the way that they believed the person who stole from them's consequence.

Winter break

There is not much to say about my break. My dog got Pancreatitis and our whole family was sick for more than half of vacation. I was going to play in my annual music concert but my dog was in the emergency vet room. We were also supposed to go to Great Northern Mall, eat out at fat heads and go Christmas shopping too but that was all ruined and totaled out with my having no presents to open Christmas morning. We were supposed to go to my Great Grandma's house but everyone including myself, was all really sick with high fevers so we all stayed home. I was also planning to go to Georgia with my best friend Sarah too but i did not go ( again ) because my mom said i had to take care of my sick and lame brother. Overall, my vacation was the WORST vacation and now i will have to look forward to spring break where i will get my drivers license and hopefully go to Georgia with Sarah this time around.